Now THIS Is A Rant. Thank You, Chris Kluwe

Fuck you, Donald Trump.

by Chris Kluwe

Fuck you for being a hypersensitive, grossly plump caricature of a human being; a squirming mass of cockroaches lurking under a skinsuit veneer.

Fuck your wanton plundering of our social fabric, your willingness to tear down the structure that allows you to exist, your glorification of the worst parts of humanity, all in the name of your own insatiable greed and depravity.

Fuck your racebaiting, fearmongering, Nazi-enabling rhetoric that allows the darkest and most destructive corners of our collective zeitgeist free reign to terrorize the rest.

Fuck your ignorant paucity of intellect, your narcissistic belief in your own ego, your inability to recognize your own descent into fascism.

Fuck your promotions of white supremacists to positions of power, of science denying crackpots to oversee our future, of bootlicking toadies to oversee your transition.

Fuck your misogynistic views on women’s rights, fuck your archaic beliefs on the freedom of press and religion, and fuck your idiotic venality when it comes to the destruction of a country that, while not always achieving freedom for all of its citizens, has done the best to get there in the entirety of recorded human history.

Fuck you, Melania Trump.

Fuck you for being willing to support this disgusting slime mold because it means you can live a life of privilege and luxury, never mind the hardships that will befall women across this nation due to your husband’s philistinic views.

Fuck you for posing for puff pieces in entertainment magazines while the cabal of shitgoblins your partner is assembling gets ready to reverse everything that has allowed you to possess even the most moderate amount of power.

Fuck you for taking the easy choice, the choice to suck the dick of a loathsome troll in order to wear Hugo Boss dresses, instead of taking a stand in order to protect the fifty percent of our population who shares your gender.

Fuck you for smiling and waving at the cameras when your husband is on record as saying, “Grab them (women) by the pussy. You can do anything.”

Fuck your betrayal of everything Susan B. Anthony and other suffragettes fought for, fuck your tacit acceptance that a woman should be an accessory to a man, fuck your self-centered interest in insuring your own well-being over the well-being of the country that allows you such a lifestyle.

Fuck you, Ivanka, Eric, and Donald Trump Jr.

Fuck you for being willing lackeys of this pusillanimous ape, for carrying his water on television and in media interviews.

Fuck you for clinging to his hairy teat, for not finding the courage to strike out on your own, for not recognizing that even though you can’t choose your parents, you can certainly choose your own path in life.

Fuck you for normalizing this piece of shit wannabe-Hitler, for treating his wretched series of business enterprises as anything other than the fraudulent snake-oil jobs that they are, for bowing beneath the lash instead of standing tall and making your own way, despite the loss it might incur.

Fuck you for the hate and pain you will inflict on hundreds of thousands of American citizens because you couldn’t muster the courage to say, “No, this isn’t right, and even though I’m related to you by blood, I refuse to proceed with this abhorrent state of affairs.”

Fuck your greasy, slimy, frat-house words and beliefs, your ideals that would tear us apart, your craven unworthiness to occupy a public space that you achieved through no merit of your own, one which you have no idea what to do with other than to cause hurt.

Fuck you, Jared Kushner.

Fuck your anti-Semitism.

Fuck your quisling compliance, your willingness to see those like you tortured and degraded in order to further your own lot in life.

Fuck your manipulation of our media through your financial control of the Observer, fuck your sheltered life of wanton privilege, fuck your inability to understand the arc of history.

Fuck everything you do to uphold a wretched lout who would suffer no qualms in ordering you in front of the firing squad if it meant he might live another day.

Fuck you, Republicans who refuse to disown this bloated leech.

Fuck your cowardice, your disavowal of the solemn duties of your office — keeping this country safe from tyrants and demagogues.

Fuck you for meekly bending the knee in compliance, instead of speaking truth to power.

Fuck you for choosing political expediency over courage, fuck you for sacrificing the poor and the sick, fuck you for dragging our government into a hole from which it may never recover.

Fuck you, members of the media.

Fuck your constant pursuit of ratings, of quarterly profits, of giving this tinpot cumdumpster a platform with which he can influence a large part of our country

Fuck you for buying into the idea that racism should be afforded an equal platform with equality, for calling a Nazi anything other than a Nazi.

Fuck your smarmy thinkpieces attempting to normalize a new hegemony, fuck your cowardice in the face of totalitarianism, fuck your CEOs and VPs and executive producers who are willing to feed the innocent to the depraved in order to forestall their own demise.

Fuck you for not doing your job.

Fuck you, Trump supporters.

Fuck you for your willing ignorance, your inability to understand that a fascist is telling you exactly what he wants to do to you.

Fuck you for tearing apart the rule of law, and bringing back the rule of force.

Fuck you for not caring, for believing the easy lies you read instead of using your brain to find the truth.

Fuck you for putting your petty hatreds and squabbles ahead of everything that once made this country great, and fuck you for unwittingly causing it to fall.

Fuck you everyone who refuses to take a stand against this man.

Fuck your inability to understand history.

Fuck your selfish interests that ignore the fact that if one of us isn’t free, none of us is free.

Fuck your willingness to normalize this dictator, your filthy desire for more lucre, your inability to fight for your fellow citizens and everything this country once stood for. The Founders would be ashamed of you.

Fuck your blind optimism that things will somehow magically turn out okay, fuck your American exceptionalism draped in the corpses of communities of color, fuck your overwhelming ignorance that could be solved if you simply wished to learn and ask ‘why.’

Above all, fuck your cowardice, your self-loathing hypocrisy, your myopic blinders keeping you from identifying the single greatest threat our republic has faced since we took up arms against the British, because if someone other than you suffers, somehow that makes it just fine.

Fuck you, Donald Trump, for turning my country into something that it never should have become, for turning it into something no country should ever become.

Fuck you, Donald Trump, for driving us into conflict, one that will most likely end in violence.

Fuck you, Donald Trump.

Coal: When you’re pissed-off enough to send the very worst, but you draw the line at flaming dog poop.

Hello, friends! This holiday season, it’s important to remember all the wonderful people in your life who have been good to you in 2016.

But it’s also important to remember those bastards and jerks who’ve lied, cheated, swindled, insulted, extorted and otherwise tried to crap all over you in 2016. And Big Coal will be there to help you express your true feelings…

Lump of coal
One lump for each GOP governor.

…for the CEO who cancels employee bonuses except for the senior executive staff.

…for candidates who hitch their wagons to white supremacy and hatred of “the other” while condoning violence, intimidation, and misinformation to win elections.

…for the governors and legislatures who accept bribes from billionaires in exchange for dismantling unions and environmental laws, stomping on voters’ rights, treating women and minorities like dirt, and setting fire to social safety nets.

…for the neighbor who backed over your posies last summer and then denied it, even though the tire marks in your garden matched his F-150’s.

…for your uncle who still sends you birther emails and sees ISIS infiltrators behind every tree.

Screenshot from the TV ad, which an includes a chyron reading, "The Truth."
Two lumps for this departing asshole.  And, for…


everyone on your list who tried to make life miserable this year, there’s only one holiday gift you can rely on to adequately say, “Suck on this, ya big jerk.” So call now and order a heapin’ helpin’ of 100 PERCENT PURE COAL.

One glance at that lump of bituminous blackness in their stocking and they’ll get your message loud and clear. Available in lignite, flame coal, gas coal, anthracite, coke and, for those really nasty peckerheads, coal ash slurry. Order today and get FREE shipping!

Coal: when you’re pissed-off enough to send the very worst, but you draw the line at flaming dog poop.

Drumpf, As Seen By Republicans

This is the guy who will be sworn in on January 20th. Let his Republican friends tell you exactly who he is.

  • “He has spent a career sticking it to working people.”  (Sen. Marco Rubio)
    • “This man is a pathological liar. He doesn’t know the difference between truth and lies. He lies with practically every word that comes out of his mouth. … He describes his battle with venereal disease as his own personal Vietnam.” (Sen. Ted Cruz)
  • “Donald Trump is the Kim Kardashian of politics.” (Carly Fiorina)
    • “He’s a race-baiting, xenophobic, religious bigot. He doesn’t represent my party. He doesn’t represent the values that the men and women who wear the uniform are fighting for. … He’s the ISIL man of the year.”  (Sen. Lindsey Graham)
    • “Not the Commander-in-Chief we would need to keep our country safe” (Gov. Jeb Bush)
  • “He is a cancer on conservatism … His comments should completely and immediately disqualify him from seeking our nation’s highest office.”  (Gov. Rick Perry)

The best advice for all of us, courtesy of Senator Graham: “You know how you make America great again? Tell Donald Trump to go to hell.”

And so we shall.

A Letter From Australia

“Since the election I have cried many times, in the shower, in the car, as the conventions that define liberal Western democracy are stripped away by Donald J. Trump, with every distressful appointment, each impulsive outburst. I have embarrassment of grief for a government that is not mine and for a country that does not belong to me. It feels as if we’re mourning the death of an idea called America.”

It’s Time To Call Them On This

Until we reach the point where we have stronger democratic institutions, we must rely on the ones we have to protect us from our enemies, domestic or foreign. Leaders are required to take an oath to do that.

In order to be a sovereign nation, we must be in charge of our own electoral processes. To have a foreign nation commit crimes in the furtherance of its efforts to elect its chosen puppet denies our ability to self-govern and must be challenged. And while our Congress willingly spent millions of dollars and wasted hundreds of hours examining a tragedy overseas (Benghazi!), it seems oddly reluctant to take even a cursory glance at the theft that has just occurred here at home.

Do our Republican representatives care at all about the principles outlined in our Constitution, the one that they insisted upon reading aloud on the floor of the House? Or was the Constitution only of use when there was a black man in the White House? The GOP has successfully made even the routine business of the House a partisan issue—should they now be allowed to make the Constitution, written to protect the rights of all Americans, a partisan document?  Do its restrictions only apply on a partisan basis?

The subversion of our sovereignty by Vladimir Putin and his cronies has resulted in the first Cabinet ever selected specifically to grant the president-elect’s every wish and make all of his dreams come true. So why is the party of Ronald (Evil Empire) Reagan allowing our government to be run by a foreign power? Is their hunger for winning being allowed to trump their duty to preserve and protect the Constitution?

It is time to call them on this. And it is up to us to do it, since it appears no one else will.

–Susan Grigsby

How The Trump Stole America (with apologies to Dr. Seuss)

By John Pavlovitz

In a land where the states are united, they claim,
in a sky-scraping tower adorned with his name,
lived a terrible, horrible, devious chump,
the bright orange miscreant known as the Trump.
This Trump he was mean, such a mean little man,
with the tiniest heart and two tinier hands,
and a thin set of lips etched in permanent curl,
and a sneer and a scowl and contempt for the world.
He looked down from his perch and he grinned ear to ear,
and he thought, “I could steal the election this year!
It’d be rather simple, it’s so easily won,
I’ll just make them believe that their best days are done!
Yes, I’ll make them believe that it’s all gone to Hell,
and I’ll be Jerk Messiah and their souls they will sell.
And I’ll use lots of words disconnected from truth,
but I’ll say them with style so they won’t ask for proof.
I’ll toss out random platitudes, phrases, and such,
They’re so raised on fake news that it won’t matter much!
They won’t question the how to, the what, why, or when,
I will make their America great once again!”
The Trump told them to fear, they should fear he would say,
“They’ve all come for your jobs, they’ll all take them away.
You should fear every Muslim and Mexican too,
every brown, black, and tan one, everyone who votes blue.”
And he fooled all the Christians, he fooled them indeed,
He just trotted out Jesus, that’s all Jesus folk need.
And celebrity preachers they all crowned him as king,
Tripping over themselves just to kiss the Trump’s ring.
And he spoke only lies just as if they were true,
Until they believed all of those lies were true too.
He repeated and Tweeted and he blustered and spit,
And he mislead and fibbed—and he just made up sh*t.
And the media laughed but they printed each line,
thinking “He’ll never will win, in the end we’ll be fine.”
So they chased every headline, bold typed every claim,
‘Till the fake news and real news they looked just the same.
And the scared folk who listened, they devoured each word,
Yes, they ate it all up every word that they heard,
petrified that their freedom was under attack,
trusting Trump he would take their America back.
From the gays and from ISIS, he’d take it all back,
Take it back from the Democrats, fat cats, and blacks.
And so hook, line, and sinker they all took the bait,
all his lies about making America great.
Now the Pant-suited One she was smart and prepared,
she was brilliant and steady but none of them cared,
no they cared not to see all the work that she’d done,
or the fact they the Trump had not yet done thing one.
They could only shout “Emails!”, yes “Emails!” they’d shout,
because Fox News had told them—and Fox News had clout.
And the Pant-suited One she was slandered no end,
and a lie became truth she could never defend.
And the Trump watched it all go according to plan—
a strong woman eclipsed by an insecure man.
And November the 8th arrived, finally it came,
like a slow-moving storm but it came just the same.
And Tuesday became Wednesday as those days will do,
And the night turned to morning and the nightmare came true,
With millions of non-voters still in their beds,
Yes, the Trump he had done it, just like he had said.
And the Trumpers they trumped, how they trumped when he won,
All the racists and bigots; deplorable ones,
they crawled out from the woodwork, came out to raise Hell,
they came out to be hateful and hurtful as well.
With slurs and with road signs, with spray paint and Tweets,
with death threats to neighbors and taunts on the street.
And the grossest of grossness they hurled on their peers,
while the Trump he said zilch—for the first time in years.
But he Tweeted at Hamilton, he Tweeted the Times,
And he trolled Alec Baldwin a few hundred times,
and he pouted a pout like a petulant kid,
thinking this is what Presidents actually did,
thinking he could still be a perpetual jerk,
terrified to learn he had to actually work,
work for every American, not just for a few,
not just for the white ones—there was much more to do.
He now worked for the Muslims and Mexicans too,
for the brown, black, and tan ones, and the ones who vote blue.
They were all now his bosses, now they all had a say,
and those nasty pant-suited ones were here to stay.
And the Trump he soon realized that he didn’t win,
He had gotten the thing—and the thing now had him.
And it turned out the Trump was a little too late,
for America was already more than quite great,
not because of the sameness, the opposite’s true,
It’s greatness far more than just red, white, and blue,
It’s straight, gay, and female—it’s Gentile and Jew,
It’s Transgender and Christian and Atheist too.
It’s Asians, Caucasians of every kind,
The disabled and abled, the deaf and the blind,
It’s immigrants, Muslims, and brave refugees,
It’s Liberals with bleeding hearts fixed to their sleeves.
And we are all staying, we’re staying right here,
and we’ll be the great bane of the Trump for four years.
And we’ll be twice as loud as the loudness of hate,
be the greatness that makes our America great.
And the Trump’s loudest boasts they won’t ever obscure,
over two million more of us—voted for her.

Good Lord. “Unpresidented?”

By now everybody’s seen the tweet from the Mango Mussolini where he made up a new word: unpresidented. If you try typing that into a text, spell check will change it to the actual word this dim, dangerous dumbass was searching for when he embarrassed himself worldwide yet again.

Unpresidented. It rolls off the tongue. Not just an alternative to “not my president,” but an alternative that includes all the “un” that defines Trump. Unqualified. Untruthful. Unreliable. Unjust. Uncouth. Unkind. Unconscionable. Unimaginable. Unbearable. Unconscious. Unacceptable. Unpresidential.

As John Fuglesang said, “Nixon was evil but he wasn’t ignorant. W was ignorant but he wasn’t evil. The incoming combo is unprecedented.”


Only in America by Vanity Fair’s Graydon Carter

God, I love this country.

Only in America could a serial bankrupt pass himself off as a successful businessman. (And almost none of those he bankrupted were even regular businesses. They were casinos—where people essentially come to lose their money.)

Only in America could a man who offended Hispanics, Muslims, Jews, and African-Americans, as well as women, babies, and the handicapped, become the Republican nominee for president.

Only in America could a man for whom truth is an inconvenient concept feel comfortable referring to his opponent as “lying” and “crooked.”

Only in America, a nation built on a history of immigration, could a man who married two immigrants—one of whom is alleged to have worked illegally when she first arrived—run on an anti-immigration platform.

Only in America could a man with a legendary reputation for stiffing small-business owners and wage laborers be able to pass himself off as a champion of the little guy.

Only in America could a man run for the presidency with one of his heralded accomplishments being the fixing of a skating rink in New York’s Central Park, a job the city had bungled for years. (It’s a feat most backyard rink rats in Canada pull off before their 13th birthday.)

Only in America could a man who brags about groping and kissing women without their consent win 53 percent of the vote among white women.

Only in America could a man who avoided the draft—with a deferment for pesky bone spurs on his feet, which somehow did not hinder him from playing tennis—and who insulted war heroes and their families become the commander in chief of the greatest military power on earth.

Only in America could a man who lashed out over the flimsiest of slights become our chief negotiator with the Russians, the Chinese, and the North Koreans.

Only in America could a man whose staff reportedly took away his Twitter account because he couldn’t control himself be given the nuclear codes. (Thank you, President Obama, for pointing out that one.)

Only in America could a man with a negligible record of charitable giving and not a single day’s experience in public life be raised to the highest public office in the land.

Only in America could a man who kept a volume of Hitler’s speeches by his bedside rule over the second-largest Jewish population in the world.

Only in America could a man whose résumé of failed businesses and alleged sexual harassment is so miserable that he would have trouble finding work at a copy shop be named chief executive of the world’s largest economy.

Only in America could a man who has skirted the law for more than four decades be put in charge of choosing new justices for the nation’s highest court.

Only in America could a man whose foreign-affairs experience consists of negotiating deals for hotels and golf courses—and perhaps arranging for investments by Russians—become the most powerful man on the planet. (And at a very perilous time.)

Only in America could a man who has likely paid no federal taxes for nearly two decades, and who refused to release his tax returns, be put in charge of the Treasury and the Internal Revenue Service.

Only in America could a man who thinks climate change is a hoax, and something invented by the Chinese, be put in charge of not only the Environmental Protection Agency but also our negotiations with other nations—at the most calamitous environmental period in the earth’s modern history.

Only in America could a man who surrounded himself with political second-raters like Rudolph Giuliani and Chris Christie be put in charge of forming the team to run the next U.S. government.

Only in America could a man who earned the contempt of his Republican rivals for being a con man and a fraud—and who implicated the father of one of his rivals in John F. Kennedy’s assassination—ultimately reap the support of those very same rivals.

Only in America could a man who threatened to throw his opponent in jail and to sue the women who have accused him of sexual harassment, who denigrated the judge who will preside over the trial of his bogus university(because the judge is of Mexican heritage), and who has 75 outstanding lawsuits (including two for fraud) be put in charge of the Justice Department.

Only in America could a man who does not understand the separation of powers, and who has advocated for the use of torture regardless of national and international law, be thought prepared to swear an oath to “preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States.”

Only in America could a man whose primary national exposure was appearing on a reality-TV show become the reality that so much of the world feared.

Do not tell me America is no longer a land of opportunity.

–Graydon Carter

A Practical Guide For Resisting the Trump Agenda

This is a great resource, I’m posting it here so that the Gang of 8–you know who you are—can easily access it and print it for future meetings. This was written by Congressional staffers and is a viral link on the internet right now, apparently millions of like-minded Americans are looking for ways to fight the impending disaster of the Trump Presidency.

Many of these tips, suggestions and techniques were developed as a response to the rise of the Tea Party. These are staffers showing us exactly how to get our MoC’s (members of Congress) to listen, how to break through the noise and get their attention.

Here you go.

Hey Trump voters, a word?

Let’s start by me being up front about this: If you voted for this orange thing, I don’t respect you. I don’t like you. I have no need to “understand” the reasons you voted for this poor excuse for a human being. I have no need to go spelunking in the murky depths of your stupidity and self-interest.

But I’m curious.

I assume you’re OK with his admitting to being a sexual predator. With his long record of screwing his vendors across all of his businesses. With his bankruptcies that left small businesses unpaid and screwed. With his bragging that he was “smart” for not paying his taxes. With his admission he ran a fraudulent “University” and paying a $25 million fine. With his mocking the disabled. With his bragging about how easy it was to walk in on teenage girls while they were dressing for pageant events because “I own it so I can do what I want.” With his pathological lying. With his bullying ordinary people on his Twitter feed. With his encouragement of violence at his rallies. With his cozying up to white nationalists, including putting one of them in the White House as his advisor. With his colluding with the Russians to throw the election. And on and on.

I assume you’re good with all of that. Because all that was happening before the election. And you still voted for him.

But now—five weeks after the election—are you OK with his still refusing to show you his tax records after he promised he would? Are you OK with his reversing his campaign promises to you on the “big, beautiful” border wall, on repealing the ACA, on putting Goldman Sachs guys in his cabinet—THREE of them? After he made speech after speech right to your faces that he was going to drain the swamp and get Wall Street out of your way? After he told you, loudly, that Hillary should be disqualified from running for President because she accepted payment for speeches to these same guys? You good with that?

Are you fine with his promising to have a press conference with Melania where she would thoroughly explain her history before she immigrated to the U.S., then canceling it and not mentioning it again? With his promise to hold a press conference December 15th to explain how he was going to take care of all his financial and business conflicts before his inauguration, then canceling it and not setting a date to do just that? You OK with that?

You good with his handing over his financial empire to his kids? You think foreign governments won’t find a thousand ways to hold this country hostage by leveraging his business interests against what they want from his administration? You think large tower hotels with his name on them won’t be targets for terrorists?

You think he won’t do everything he can to make money off being President? You OK with that?

You OK with Trump looking into the camera and asking the Russians to hack Clinton’s emails? And now we find out they did, and he doesn’t give a shit that it happened and evidence has surfaced that he probably colluded with Putin to do it? Is that all right with you?

Are you OK with his nomination of the Exxon CEO to Secretary of State after that same CEO brokered a $500 billion oil deal with Putin and was given Russia’s highest honor for foreigners, the Medal of Friendship? Are you OK with his National Security advisor Flynn turning over classified documents to Pakistan and Afghanistan during wartime? After being an outspoken “lock her up” critic of Clinton at Trump’s rallies? That good with you?

Let’s do an update in a week or two, I’m sure I’ll have more questions for you to consider. It would be so comforting to hear some well-considered responses, because most of us are fucking gob-smacked that we’re still hearing Trump voters defend this goddam criminal.

Give us a few reasons to sleep better at night.