The Worst Humans in America

by Hunter, Daily Kos

[Didn’t know they were doing this, didya? Doing another big favor for the NRA right after  passing their massive Christmas present bill to their top donors and lining up behind Moore in Alabama for the senate and continuing to support the pussy-grabbing traitor in the Oval Office. They are doing this. Merry Christmas, everybody! Gotta run, my supply of Knob Creek is running low and it looks like I’m going to need a few gallons to get through the holidays.]

The garbage fire in the White House may have his hands full stumping for a Republican child molester this week, but never doubt the rest of his party’s willingness to stump for the nation’s mass murderers.

Republicans lined up a vote this week in the House on making it easier for gun owners to legally carry concealed weapons across state lines, the first gun-related legislation since mass shootings in Nevada and Texas killed more than 80 people.The bill is a top priority of the National Rifle Association, which calls it an important step to expand the right of gun owners to travel freely between states without worrying about conflicting state laws or civil suits.

(You’re going to have to forgive me in advance for this one, but I am Done, and a little past Done besides, and pretending at the slightest bit of politeness towards the Worst Humans In America is not, this particular week, going to be in the cards. Not when Republicanism had to choose between a child molester and a not-child-molester and couldn’t manage the one and only obvious response.)

So there ya go. On top of deficit-exploding tax cuts for the rich on the backs of the middle class, on top of the Garbage Fire in the Oval Office admitting outright to lawyer-endorsed-and-supported obstruction of justice, on top of the whole well he may be a child molester, but he’ll vote for our tax cuts actual, real-life Worst Humans In America talking point: The only substantive legislative response to a year that’s seen two of the nation’s worst-ever lone gunman mass murders and the attempted execution of a Republican House leader is going to be a bill allowing concealed weapons holders who want to perhaps-maybe murder Americans in other states to carry their guns into those other states without having to worry about irritating lawsthose states may have passed attempting to stop them.

This is significant in areas such as, oh say, Chicago, Illinois, a violence-prone city with increasingly stringent gun laws that is just a quick jump from Mike Pence’s Gun-O-Rama Indiana. Are the gun laws in one state preventing you from your fantasies of killing someone, perhaps because they’ve deemed you unworthy of deciding such things on your own? Shop around, you little would-be hero-slash-assassin you. Other states aren’t so picky.

 It also comes in the midst of the ongoing, and baffling, war between Republicans and the District of Columbia’s own gun laws—for whatever reason, Republicans have been very put out for years over the notion that the place they have to drive through to get to the gun-free grounds of their Capitol building doesn’t have enough armed impromptu murderers. That’s been a puzzler for years.

There’s probably some garbage to be spouted here about how this goes against the hoariest of all Republican talking points, states rightz, but we won’t bother because everyone knows that states rightz was never anything but the codeword for defending racial segregation and doesn’t have a damn thing to do with actually protecting the rights of states to set their own laws on anydamnthingelse, except maybe asshole zealot bakers who don’t want to bake cakes for people of other religions. We won’t pretend otherwise. At this point the House Republican to-do list is so inconsistent, so silly, and so obviously devoted exclusively to the drafting of laws scribbled up by the nation’s most powerful lobbyist groups that we’re just going to assume Rep. Paul Ryan collects a large personal check from a lobbyist for every one of their bills he passes.

There’s really no other explanation that makes sense, so what the hell. Let’s assume Paul Ryan took a hefty bribe to put this one on the calendar and be done with it. He’s certainly not going to come up with any better justification for such a self-evidently stupid bill; you may have noticed that after the 2016 elections, Paul Ryan stopped trying to justify most of what he and his fellow House Republicans came up with. Now it’s just an unending stream of bills penned by the worst special interest groups for the worst reasons, and the caucus continues to fall all over themselves supporting every last one.

Is it better or worse than defending a president’s attempts to directly profit, in cash payments, from his office? Than defending a child molester in order to boost party tax policies? Than repeated attempts to stonewall, slow-walk, discredit, or shutter investigations into Republican-friendly Russian espionage? Than declaring that the real problem here is shiftless, jobless poor children, who could learn a thing or two from the financial success of the trust fund crowd? How do we rank these things, at this point? Should we ask Paul Ryan? Should we ask him, outright, which of these various new Republican accomplishments he himself is most and least proud of?

Cool Facts I Learned in Biology, with Commentary

A pig’s orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (OMG)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy. I’m still not over the pig)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is still attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male’s head off. (“Honey, I’m home…WHAT THE…!”)

A flea can jump 350 times its body length. That’s like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes…lucky pig. Can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27 thousand taste buds. (What could be so tasty at the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still can’t believe that pig. Quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I’ve always wanted to know)

Elephants are the only animals that can’t jump. (That would be a good thing)

An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain. (We all know people like that)

Starfish have no brains. (Again, people like that show up at Trump rallies all the time)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What about that pig? Do the dolphins know about the pig?)